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@rixx@chaos.social · @rixxtr

I heard we're doing introspection


Hey, I heard we are doing introspection? I can totally do introspection.

This blog is an ambivalent place for me. It’s ultimately positive, because I get to write things to get them out of my head and into form. My thoughts are largely nonverbal, and verbalising them is very valuable and often helpful. And since I don’t really advertise this site, or at least individual posts, I can feel fairly unrestricted in writing even very personal posts – only people following the RSS feed are likely to read them. Hi, that’s you!

So what’s the ambivalence? Well, this started as a daily-ish writing place, and I tend to leave long gaps in between writing spurts. That feels like failing to achieve a goal, which results in some low-key guilt and less low-key pressure. Nothing terrible, nothing that needs to be resolved right away, but something that could be better.

I’ve been thinking about that a bit today, in my odd, non-verbal, not-really-thinking way, and have come to the conclusion that more weirdness is in order. I hereby formally drop the idea of daily posts – screw that, it’s not going to work, anyways. Instead, I’ll aim at frequent posts, and will allow any content instead of sticking with this run on sentences inducing format that is probably best described as “diary of an emotional debugger”. I did a bit of that in Just Add Water which turned out a fairly bad post, but one that was very entertaining to write.

So I may write drafts for future Twitter threads, or enthuse about weird language or history things, or how only a handful of languages can really relate to how hexameters work because they are not emphasis based (and instead length based, ha!). You’re warned, all five readers of this site.

One problem with that, of course, is that my English is shoddy and being creative and weird in a language you’re not good at is hard. Have you ever learnt a new keyboard layout? Being creative in English is exactly like that: I know what effortless fluency feels like, but I cannot access it and instead have to muddle around in this mongrel excuse for a language that takes indecent pride in losing all semblance of a proper grammar in exchange for frustrating spelling and a vocabulary that etc etc.

Not sure if that means that I’ll post the occasional German post or that I’ll have to figure out how to write English hexameters, but something’s gotta give.