Guilty of good dreams
I am the judge of dreams, and you are the judge of love. Well, I find you guilty of dreaming good dreams, and sentence you to a lifetime of working and suffering for the sake of your dreams.
Orson Scott Card, Speaker for the Dead
There’s probably a way out of judging our dreams, right next to being perfectly egoless or taking a hike in the fiery chariot, or however your spirituality of choice expresses crossing the boundary to the transcendent with some mystical big step that you can only take without moving. But until then, we judge our dreams. (We probably also judge others and their dreams, but that’s a bit easier to let go of, at least temporarily.)
And while a lifetime of working and suffering (yes yes, it is optional, keep your zen to yourself for a bit) sounds intimidating, it might just be the best thing I can hope for. Standing still feels wrong, relaxing instead of dancing on the live volcano is downright depressing. Finding a constantly evolving, maturing, changing set of dreams that condemns me to lifelong working and suffering implies dreams that make me hungry, that open me for yearning and remind me to reject a sterile death of dullness.
My big dreams are about freedom and community, currently. My more immediate, more intense dreams are about seeing some people and making sure there are still other humans out there, because a couple of months into this lockdown, I really am not sure anymore. My most immediate dream involves not having to pit the 6 remaining kilos of cherries we harvested yesterday, and true to the quote, it sure feels like a lifetime of working and suffering.