Virtue Squares
Virtue squares are a useful tool to explore virtues, emotions, and everything else you attach a value judgement to. They can help you practice empathy and introspection. This is a virtue square:
╭──────────────────╮ ╭───────────────────╮
│ │ │ │
│ frugal ├───────────┤ generous │ virtue
│ │╲ ╱│ │
╰────────┬─────────╯ ╲ ╱ ╰─────────┬─────────╯
│ ╲ ╱ │
│ ╲ ╱ │
│ ╲ ╱ │
│ ╳ │ ⬇ devaluing
│ ╱ ╲ │ exaggeration
│ ╱ ╲ │
│ ╱ ╲ │
╭────────┴─────────╮ ╱ ╲ ╭─────────┴─────────╮
│ │╱ ╲│ │
│ stingy ├───────────┤ wasteful │ vice
│ │ │ │
╰──────────────────╯ ╰───────────────────╯
In the upper boxes, you see two positive but opposed attributes, and in the lower boxes you see their negative exaggerations. The diagonals are the lines of snark: If I’m generous and I dislike your frugality, I’ll call you stingy. If I’m frugal, I’ll see your generosity as wastefulness. I’m naturally right. You’re naturally wrong. That’s how it goes.
The “devaluing exaggerations” can either describe actual exaggerations of the positive values, or name-calling by detractors – both versions are fun to work through.
Traditionally, you construct virtue squares starting from the top row, but I’ve found it more useful to start at the bottom. Pick an attitude you find annoying or stupid or hard to empathise with. Put it in the lower left box, and put your favoured value diagonally opposite.
╭──────────────────╮ ╭───────────────────╮
│ │ │ │
│ ├───────────┤ I'm the hero │ virtue
│ │╲ ╱│ │
╰────────┬─────────╯ ╲ ╱ ╰─────────┬─────────╯
│ ╲ ╱ │
│ ╲ ╱ │
│ ╲ ╱ │
│ ╳ │ ⬇ devaluing
│ ╱ ╲ │ exaggeration
│ ╱ ╲ │
│ ╱ ╲ │
╭────────┴─────────╮ ╱ ╲ ╭─────────┴─────────╮
│ │╱ ╲│ │
│ you're the ├───────────┤ │ vice
│ villain │ │ │
│ │ │ │
╰──────────────────╯ ╰───────────────────╯
Going by the first example, you’d start with “I hate to be seen as stingy, I’d rather be generous.”, or “My dad’s stinginess annoys me, he should be more generous.”
Now imagine what the person in favour of this attribute would describe it as, and put it in the box above. Imagine how your point of view would look to them (hint: “Oh yes! That’s the One Truth, I was wrong and I’m healed!” is not the answer), and put that in the box below yours. Ta-daa! Empathy square complete.
Up to this point, virtue squares are a little exercise in vocabulary and empathy, which in itself is nice, but nothing special. It smacks a bit of tedious IQ test exercises, to be honest. The fun starts when you evaluate your choices, or discuss them with others. No attribute has a single opposite or antonym. You will find that starting from a single word, you’ll end up with different answers than other people. It’s a great way to figure out what’s actually bothering you about somebody’s attitude, or which aspect of a virtue is important to you.
Exercises
- What’s the worst attribute of Dolores Umbridge? Put it in a virtue square. Bonus: Compare your result with others, e.g. on Twitter or in the Fediverse.
- Try to construct a virtue square in another language, if you know one. It’s surprisingly hard, because you have to take associations and related meanings into account.
Further reading
- Virtue squares have been described by the German psychologist Friedemann Schulz von Thun (“Wertequadrat”) in “Miteinander Reden 2”. You may know his communication square model, because the dude’s into squares.